The (mis)adventures of Super-S

So my latest blog crush – Holly over at Nothing But Bonfires – used to write a column for a Charleston newspaper called the Weekly Geekly. I happened upon this particular week of her column, which explains a complex rating system basically used by Gawker to determine the level of toolery in the New York Times wedding announcements, and while teeheeing to myself and rolling my eyes at the absolute douchieness (oh, I’m really letting the made up words fly this week!) of it all the I had a moment of alarming realization.

I AM a tool.

Certainly in my current relationship I am the tool supreme, because even though Super-M’s the one with the posh British accent (sweetie, it’s posh, don’t try convince me otherwise) who went to boarding school and knows how to properly order things like wine and sushi, according to the Gawker rating system I’d get more points.

I mean, I went to an Ivy League (whatever), I’m about to embark on my second masters (ok, and so is Super-M), 9 of the 14 or so years I lived in the US were spent outside of Princeton (yeah, it’s no Greenwich, but COME ON), and *gulp* I HAVE WORN A SWEATER KNOTTED AROUND MY SHOULDERS (not really).

Dear God. All these years I’ve been walking around like I’m “one of the people” when really I’m just a consultancy and one huge diamond ring (yuck! diamonds) away from being Olivia Cowley or Minnie Mortimer!

Um, but seriously, I just wanted to write about how much I love Gawker and all the important things it has contributed to my world. In the early, dark days when I first moved to Egypt, Gawker Stalker helped get me through some pretty dreary moments when I was unemployed and trying to avoid writing my (first) Master’s thesis.

Also, I’m kind of hoping that if I mention Holly enough on my blog she’ll notice me and look past the fact that I’m kind of a big dork, and want to (fly a few thousand miles to) hang out with me someday. That would be so cool.

Speaking of girl/blog crushes though, I’ve been musing over something with regards to my online sexual orientation. While “in real life” I am as a straight as a girl whose female friends are by and large bisexuals/lesbians can be, on the internets I seem to be developing an awful lot of girlcrushes, to the point that I’m beginning to wonder whether I might not be a virtual lesbian.

Yes? No?